Brienda was very happy as her parents were vising her. She was happily cooking for them and suddenly she got the thought, “will mom like this Dish? will it be perfect in taste like her?” …she got aware of her thoughts and thought to herself…OMG , You are 35 Brienda and still thinking what mom will think ,if she like it or not…
Brienda like you and me waited for that appreciation from her mom always. Her mom by nature is very disciplined and perfectionist. She always expected Brienda to be perfect in each task she does. Brienda tried her best to do the job properly but she always got answers back on how she could have done that job better, rather than a simple word of appreciation. Although Brienda’s mom always had good intention, but she had no idea how this affected on Brienda negatively.
As Brienda was growing up, she slowly started believing that whatever work she does, it is not good enough because she is not capable. She started believing that it is always her mistake and she is incapable and incompetent. Brienda finished her studies and graduation, she even got job in multinational company but she still had self-esteem problem, she always criticized herself. This affected her performance in the job. The manifestation of that was stress, irritation, self-doubt etc. Finally, she decided to take help to gain her confidence back and that is where she realized that she lacked appreciation, motivation and self-belief and always longed for appreciation.
Yes…the appreciation …Have you ever wished to get that appreciation from your parent, have you ever wished to get that one positive feedback from your boss…yes, we all like appreciations…it is natural behaviour and expectation of a human being.
If you just appreciate an acquaintance or a person whom you met at bus stop or a lift and just say you look lovely today or I liked your dressing sense and see their expression, you can see that their happiness is coming from inside out.
There is a difference between appreciation and flattery. Appreciation is a pure and positive feeling about others, where you really see good in that person and see good in his/her work. There is no selfishness in this act. Mostly flattery is selfish act. So, one needs to be able to differentiate between real appreciation and flattery. Appreciation also does not mean to hide person’s fault or mistakes. Every person is good at something. When we appreciate someone, it is not about ignoring their faults/mistakes, but acknowledging their effort and motivating them to go to their maximum potential. Appreciating is also an art where you appreciate person’s good work, looks, efforts but at the same time let them know that he/she can do better than what they are doing presently.
A word of appreciation can go long way to motivate person. The motivation is very important factor in human being’s life to keep oneself moving and do the work with positive efforts on physical, mental, and emotional level.
In corporates, employee appreciation is an important aspect to keep them motivated. This is required for organizations growth and to achieve collective team and organization goals.
Appreciation is very crucial at the growing age of children. Lack of appreciation at this age specially from parents can affect child negatively can cause into low self-esteem as we saw in brienda’s case. So when child comes to you to show his drawing, which he might have feeling of Picasso art, don’t disappoint them,..atleast appreciate their effort. New age parents have more awareness and they are doing this or maybe sometime overdoing it.
Appreciation is fundamental human need. We all want and need to feel valued for who we are and recognized for our contributions and accomplishments. So next time when you see, your colleague doing a good job, don’t hesitate to tell him/her about the good work. When you see your child has taken lot of efforts but he/she could not get that first rank or that trophy in sports, appreciate their effort. When you see someone really looking presentable, cheerful, beautiful, handsome, just let them know about it. When the workers working in the hot sun, let them know that they are doing a wonderful job. When cleaner in your office toilet, keep it clean and neat, appreciate them and thank them.
Above all, learn to appreciate yourself, then you will automatically start appreciating good things around you.
To inculcate the art of appreciation, I would suggest to practice following things…
– Attitude of gratitude
– Being positive
– Seeing the bigger picture
– Spending time with nature and observing its beauty
There is a beautiful quote by Margaret Cousins …” Appreciation can make a day , even change a life. Your willingness to put into words is all that is necessary”