I woke up with alarm ringing at 5:30 am. I wish to sleep more but got up as I didn’t want to miss yoga practice. And then the day started with running around, waking up kids, making them ready for school, searching books at last minute, yelling at them so that they finish their breakfast and catch bus on time. At the same time, there was an anxiety if I can reach on time for my “ Yog Sutras” classes. Finally after sending kids to school, husband ready to go to office, I left home and opened the app to check the next bus arrival time. It is in 6 mins and almost started running to reach to the bus stop . As if winning a Marathon , I reached just in time where I saw the Bus just reached bus stop ,as if driver is just waiting for me to get in . With the sigh of relief alighted the bus. As soon as I found the place to sit, I opened my phone and started browsing Facebook and checking photos, commenting mentally on few , for few made effort to post comment and few just kept to myself..:-) and suddenly as if I missed something important, opened Whatsapp, overwhelmed by number messages in so many different groups, unable to decide whether to reply or just leave, prioritizing which ones needs immediate reply. Constantly oscillating between Facebook and Whatsapp , suddenly remembered the things I have to do, as I needed to call doc to fix an appointment, download school forms, schedule for tomorrow’s classes, buy grocery from shop etc. etc. I found myself staring at the screen with total lost expression on face.
With all the rush of the thoughts, I finally reached the station and came out of MRT (it was bus to MRT and walk to destination journey) and still there is 5-7 min walk to reach and mind was still jumping from yesterday to today to three days back. As I reached the destination, there was sense of achievement as I was not so late. I entered the class and everyone was just settling down. I quickly glanced through the room to find comfortable place (as you see we find comfort in everything..) and settled down.
As the tradition of Yoga, we start class by closing eyes, followed by prayer. As I closed my eyes, the residual of my thoughts and memories was still with me. With some effort, I tried to think the topic we were going to discuss. I tried to bring physical and mental attention inwards but the remains of past and worry of future still bothering me. Then I heard a soft voice “ Take a deep breath”. I made all the effort to take the deep breath , and I felt this is the first breath I took since I woke up. I tried to remember my yoga practice which was merely 30-35 mins and thought to myself “ Was I really mindful when I was practicing Yoga…??”. I felt as if all the thoughts are settling down slowly. Then I took another deep breath, which was smoother than the earlier one and I felt as if all the activities in the mind slowly going to the rest. My past( I meant yesterday, a month ago or a recent past activities) was fading slowly. My anxious thoughts taking backstage as if telling me, “ I am not important as this time” and it made me calmer and calmer with each following breath. I was meeting my breath and myself with so much calmness and almost no activity in mind.
And this encounter with my breath gave me a feeling that, Yes things which I am bothering for in the future, will take place on its own time. Things finished in the past do not add anything at this point. This feeling of silence and stillness filled me with Joy and Happiness. I thanked myself for this beautiful experience, which reminded me of the below beautiful quote.
“A moment’s insight is sometimes worth a life’s experience” ~Oliver Wendell Homes, Sr.